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What is the most effective way to save endangered species?

작성자: 백*원
2022-06-30 1115

회원님의 영작문

What is the most effective way to save endangered species?

I know one of the endangerd species. That is Sea Turtle. I think the reason why the endangered animals are increasing is because of rising the Earth’s temperature (it called Global Warming). These days, lots of facilitys and factorys are making harmful gases and CO2. They are making our air dirty and lead to global warming. Global warming makes animals habitat disappear and ruin the entire animals food chain. So what should we do for them? I think we have to get them and observe them continuously at safe place until their number of populations increase. Also we should not use some plastic or disposable things and advertising this plan. If we do like this plan, it may gonna be better than now.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening Harry! 
You're so hard-working. I am truly in awe! :)
I am glad to know that you're fully aware of the reason why the number of endangered species increase every single day. 
Not only that, you know exactly what to do to prevent them from getting extinct. 
Sadly, not everyone is as educated and knowledgeable as you. T_T
I wish people would stop discovering other planets and focus on saving this planet. Imagine what would happen if all countries in the world would spend money on planting trees instead of exploring the outer space. I bet those endangered animals will have a place to live in and won't have a disrupted food chain. 
I stopped using plastic a long time ago. I also try to repurpose all the plastic containers we have at home because I know that all those plastic waste that we use could possibly end up in the ocean. T_T
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great evening. 
What's for dinner, Harry? Eat well. ^^
See you again tomorrow. :)
~Teacher Charry

I know one of the endangerd species. 
>> I know one of the endangered species.
That is Sea Turtle. 
>> That is the sea turtle.
I think the reason why the endangered animals are increasing is because of rising the Earth’s temperature (it called Global Warming). 
>> I think the reason why the endangered animals are increasing is because of the Earth’s rising temperature which is called global warming. 
These days, lots of facilitys and factorys are making harmful gases and CO2. 
>> These days, lots of facilities and factories are emitting harmful gases such as CO2.
They are making our air dirty and lead to global warming. 
>> They are making our air dirty and cause global warming. 
Global warming makes animals habitat disappear and ruin the entire animals food chain.
>> Global warming makes animals' habitat disappear and ruin the entire animals' food chain.
So what should we do for them?
>> CORRECT!
I think we have to get them and observe them continuously at safe place until their number of populations increase. 
>> I think we have to get them and observe them continuously in a safe place until their populations increase. 
Also we should not use some plastic or disposable things and advertising this plan. 
>> Also, we should not use some plastics or disposable things and encourage other people to do it too. 
If we do like this plan, it may gonna be better than now.
>> If we follow this plan, things may be better than now. 
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