¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-07-14 1315

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are the advantages of eating fast food?
A:One of the advantages of eating fast food is I can feel better.
Many people says that fast foods are not that good at health but eating them sometimes are not that bad.
And most of fast foods are delicious so I can feel better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


One of the advantages of eating fast food is I can feel better.

>> One of the advantages of eating fast food is that I can feel better.
Many people says that fast foods are not that good at health but eating them sometimes are not that bad.

>> Many people say that fast foods are not that good for the health, but eating them sometimes are not that bad.
And most of fast foods are delicious so I can feel better.

>> Most fast foods are delicious so I can feel better when I eat them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120423 What culture in South Korea would you want to bring back? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1107
120422 Writing Task(Jul 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1143
120421 Have you ever rented a house to live in before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 4
120420 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 811
120419 7/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1041
120418 Writing Task(Jun 30th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 887
120417 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 921
120416 Who among your children resembles or looks like you most? Can... ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120415 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 3
120414 If I were a visitor to your house, what customs should I do?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 962
120413 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 854
120412 Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 671
120411 Are dogs really \"a man¡¯s best friend\"? How? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 891
120410 Please review Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120409 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 991
120408 What is one mistake you\'ve done that you don\'t want to happen... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 789
120407 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1199
120406 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 865
120405 Looking back on your life so far, talk about a time when you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1356
120404 cheap long lasting ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 832

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04