¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

That¡¯s possible!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2022-10-21 2740

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes. That's possible. Because the more social networking sites you have, the more you can focus on them and neglect real life. Then you may gradually lose friends or you may lose your grades because you cannot concentrate on your studies. Then people will be lonely.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

Yes. That's possible. 
>>> CORRECT!

Because the more social networking sites you have, the more you can focus on them and neglect real life. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then you may gradually lose friends or you may lose your grades because you cannot concentrate on your studies. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then people will be lonely.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122046 What usually makes people confident? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2105
122045 Is there a celebrity whom you admire for their lifestyle? What... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2059
122044 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 0
122043 08.31.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2
122042 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2906
122041 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2846
122040 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2090
122039 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1576
122038 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1
122037 A good skin ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2
122036 How often do you go shopping? ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1662
122035 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1
122034 Caleb\'s homework for 31 Aug 2022 ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1790
122033 Homework ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1167
122032 diet ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1739
122031 If you could be reborn as an animal, what would you choose: to... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 1372
122030 Aside from Information Technology, what are your other interests? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 2
122029 The reason that is hard to study well ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 0
122028 > Why do you think Korean dramas and music are becoming very... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-31 0
122027 What advice would you give to people starting in business? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2171

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04