¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you feel when you take food supplements? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-11-01 1891

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because i gained weight over the years. So, i tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but i felt nothing. There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and i realized it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Judy!

Congratulations to your perfect grammar here on your homework answer! Unfortunately, you do not feel any good effect from collagen. Hence, there is no better substiture to eating less and also moving more.

Your composition had a very good introduction, a detailed body, and a complete conclusion. Great job!

See you later in class!

-T. Donna~

I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because i gained weight over the years. 
>> Correct!
Or: I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because I gained weight over the years. 

So, i tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but i felt nothing. 
>> Correct!
Or: So, I tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but I felt nothing. 

There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and i realized it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.
>> Correct!
Or: There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and I realized that it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.ambiance 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122856 \"When\" practice ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 3
122855 if practice ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 5
122854 What do you think are the health benefits of ginseng? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1804
122853 h À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2668
122852 10.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122851 What makes an advertisement/ commercial memorable? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122850 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2337
122849 10/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3119
122848 Travel ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2480
122847 2022.10.06. °­*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1
122846 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2062
122845 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2
122844 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2797
122843 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3506
122842 What activities don\'t you like to do? Why? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3206
122841 Do you get excited by new technology? What kinds of technology... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2242
122840 What is your favorite mood? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2618
122839 What do you think of plastic surgery? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2982
122838 If you could go to places like deserts or islands, would you get... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3168
122837 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2816

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04