¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you feel when you take food supplements? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-11-01 1805

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because i gained weight over the years. So, i tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but i felt nothing. There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and i realized it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Judy!

Congratulations to your perfect grammar here on your homework answer! Unfortunately, you do not feel any good effect from collagen. Hence, there is no better substiture to eating less and also moving more.

Your composition had a very good introduction, a detailed body, and a complete conclusion. Great job!

See you later in class!

-T. Donna~

I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because i gained weight over the years. 
>> Correct!
Or: I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because I gained weight over the years. 

So, i tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but i felt nothing. 
>> Correct!
Or: So, I tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but I felt nothing. 

There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and i realized it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.
>> Correct!
Or: There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and I realized that it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.ambiance 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125543 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1
125542 Corner phobia¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 2640
125541 In your opinion, why do some people feel afraid to ask questions? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1751
125540 Making Homemade Birdfruit!!! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1796
125539 How do you imagine your retirement? Share your thoughts in a few... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 3
125538 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1637
125537 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 4
125536 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 2050
125535 Should students get limited access to the Internet? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 2496
125534 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1571
125533 How can we make work efficiently ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 0
125532 Answer : What could you do as a child that you can\'t do now? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1686
125531 All phobias are rational. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1784
125530 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 0
125529 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 2
125528 Homework from the Feedback (10) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1649
125527 In your opinion, what would schools be like in the future?... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1520
125526 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1254
125525 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1692
125524 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04