¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-09 1321

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
I had a hectic day.
As I said, there were not many clients in the clinic these days.
However, today was so hectic, because there were many clients and procedures like laser, botox, lifting, and so on.
And, of course, our income today was very good.
As you know that, I was worried about money.
While my dept went up, my income went down lately.
Hence, today will be a memorable day.
Besides, I had a lot of paperwork, so I couldn't take a rest at all.
You know what?
It's alright for me to work harder.
I decided to focus on my work more this year.
That's because I want to feel free from bank depts.
If I could reduce my depts, that would be my success.
Although I am so tired now, I am going to do exercise.
I mean I will do home training.
Diet and exercise will make me healthier, and then, I can do my work harder, and finally, I will achieve my goal.
You accomplished to have a good house.
What's the next?
I hope you and I will succeed this year.
Catch you soo

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

My day went on smoothly yesterday. I did much but it was enough for me to get a good sleep and some nice evening shower. Overall, nowadays, I really appreciate ordinary and pleasant days. At least, your clinic matters were also manageable and smooth. I am happy to hear about the inflock of your clients. The more clients, the more stress, the bigger the income! That is a very good kind of stress. You can handle it with the help of your staff and of course, Dr. MJ. Smile more and more patients will walk in your door because they know that you care for them well.

Worrying about money sometimes is inevitable. However, worry destroys our confidence and eats up our happiness, so do not worry and just be happy about big or small victories daily. This way, more positive energies will come to you. Anyway, hometraining will level up your energy. This is a good move to keep you fit and even stronger. I suggest you do this in the evening before taking a shower.

Your composition is excellent. The only suggestions I made were correct spelling, and the correct prepostition. Carry on with your great skills in writing! See you on the next composition and in class!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

As I said, there were not many clients in the clinic these days.
>> Correct!

However, today was so hectic, because there were many clients and procedures like laser, botox, lifting, and so on.
>> Correct!

And, of course, our income today was very good.
>> Correct!

As you know that, I was worried about money.
>> As you know it, I was worried about money.

While my dept went up, my income went down lately.
>> Correct!
Or: debt

Hence, today will be a memorable day.
>> Correct!

Besides, I had a lot of paperwork, so I couldn't take a rest at all.
>> Correct!

You know what?
>> Correct!

It's alright for me to work harder.
>> Correct!

I decided to focus on my work more this year.
>> Correct!

That's because I want to feel free from bank depts.
>> Correct!
Or: debts

If I could reduce my depts, that would be my success.
>> Correct!
Or: debts

Although I am so tired now, I am going to do exercise.
>> Correct!
Or: Although I am so tired now, I will exercise.

I mean I will do home training.
>> Correct!

Diet and exercise will make me healthier, and then, I can do my work harder, and finally, I will achieve my goal.
>> Correct!

You accomplished to have a good house.
>> Correct!

What's the next?
>> Correct!

I hope you and I will succeed this year.
>> Correct!

Catch you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127706 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-23 1
127705 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-23 0
127704 What do you upload and download most on the internet? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1
127703 Write about the things you can see in your room and drescri be... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1
127702 1. Is mental health as important as your physical health? 2.... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2
127701 Why do you think K-pop is becoming more popular? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2344
127700 I need just one friend. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2300
127699 What is your favorite holiday and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1542
127698 time flies so fast ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2
127697 Do you prefer travelling though the countryside or the city? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2350
127696 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2
127695 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1858
127694 4.21 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1445
127693 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 0
127692 When I ate too much and ate too little. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1708
127691 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1520
127690 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1965
127689 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1
127688 homework 04.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1563
127687 What kind of people do you think would livestream their suicide?... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04