무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think the Korean government should do with regards to the increasing rates of suicide in

작성자: 이*아
2023-06-19 2697

회원님의 영작문

The Korean suicide rate has been hugely increasing, especially the suicide of celebrities and people who have a job that has to show their face and life to others. However, these pitful situations have not been able to control by one's will. In other words, it will be better when others' supports start. According to the National Life Group, "Communication can solve, or cause problems. It is the way we represent ourselves, make requests, share how we feel about the world and others" (Beverly, 2018). This is the point that the Korean government should know. How power and important communication is. As claimed by today's newspaper, almost all celebrities' suicide reasons are because of our words. Words change the life of a person whether it's a good way or bad way. Compliments make one's hope and dream; however, bullying, swears, and negative words lead to one's death. For those reasons, I think the Korean government should teach how to communicate, and respect others.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Well-said, Su A! Your essay was able to summarize your main points without feeling like there could be more to add. Everything was straight to the point.  The increasing rates of deaths by suicide is indeed an important issue that the government should also pay attention to. Let's hope we eventually see improvement from their side. 
~T.Harmony <3

The Korean suicide rate has been hugely increasing, especially the suicide of celebrities and people who have a job that has to show their face and life to others.  
>> CORRECT!
However, these pitful situations have not been able to control by one's will. 
>> However, these pitiful situations have not been able to be controlled by one's will.
In other words, it will be better when others' supports start. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ..., it will be better if others will offer their support.
According to the National Life Group, "Communication can solve, or cause problems. It is the way we represent ourselves, make requests, share how we feel about the world and others" (Beverly, 2018). 
>> CORRECT!
This is the point that the Korean government should know. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...that the Korean government should be aware of.
How power and important communication is. 
>> How powerful and important communication is.
As claimed by today's newspaper, almost all celebrities' suicide reasons are because of our words. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> As reported by today's newspaper,...
Words change the life of a person whether it's a good way or bad way.
>> CORRECT!
 Compliments make one's hope and dream; however, bullying, swears, and negative words lead to one's death. 
>> CORRECT! (This is a very good statement!)
For those reasons, I think the Korean government should teach how to communicate, and respect others.
>> ...the Korean government should teach the general public how to communicate better and to respect other people.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
134347 free of press 권*희 완료 2024-01-31 3164
134346 How do you manage time when you have a lot of activities to do?... 임*호 완료 2024-01-31 0
134345 Today\'s homework 이*도 완료 2024-01-31 2175
134344 When is a family member considered to be a \"black sheep\"? 황*은 완료 2024-01-31 3017
134343 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-01-31 3070
134342 서*연 완료 2024-01-31 3491
134341 Homework 하*림 완료 2024-01-31 0
134340 Which do you prefer, watching TV or reading books? 김*경 완료 2024-01-31 2556
134339 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-01-30 2004
134338 Annoying others 이*규 완료 2024-01-30 2557
134337 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-01-30 2
134336 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-01-30 0
134335 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-01-30 0
134334 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-01-30 3047
134333 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-01-30 0
134332 homework 01.30 최*� 완료 2024-01-30 2758
134331 homework 김*현 완료 2024-01-30 2409
134330 Why need education 김*우 완료 2024-01-30 0
134329 What makes you lazy? 송*우 완료 2024-01-30 2020
134328 Are there any special events that take place in summer in your... 오*혁 완료 2024-01-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]