¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you meet some South Koreans there in your place, what kind of information will you ask them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2023-06-23 2199

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes and shoes, grocery not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. Because, those are quite busy and there are too many products packed which are too heavy.
Besides, I wonder if there are Korean communities. I want to meet people to make a friend.
Lastly, I want to choose a good presbyterian church so that I can relax and recharge my batteries through worship and relationship with the people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Jane!

Wow, you never forgot to write and your sentences are even longer and better! I am so happy to read from you here on the composition site once again!

Trying to find new friends can take place in some of your favorite places, like a coffee shop or a restaurant. Also, you can be in the loop of the local events such as market day on weekends. Attend them and introduce yourself. You can also try using an application on your phone. Seek out people with similar interests and don¡¯t be afraid to make the first move.

As you can see, some grammar suggestions contain efficient ways of using conjunctions as well as correct capitalization. Thank you for sending this excellent answer! I shall rea from you again next time.

Happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes and shoes, grocery not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. 
>> Correct!
Or: Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes, shoes, and groceries not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. 

Because, those are quite busy and there are too many products packed which are too heavy.
>> Correct!

Besides, I wonder if there are Korean communities. 
>> Correct!

I want to meet people to make a friend.
>> Correct!

Lastly, I want to choose a good presbyterian church so that I can relax and recharge my batteries through worship and relationship with the people.
>> Correct!
Or: Presbyterian
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132193 retirement ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 5186
132192 my best running time ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 3411
132191 Are there any movies that you can watch over and over again... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 1
132190 Should employers set aside time during the day for their... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 1
132189 What do you think the differences are between male and female... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 3
132188 Good to experience diversity °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 1
132187 homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 3399
132186 What aspects of your city would you complain about? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 3845
132185 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 4885
132184 HOMEWORK FOR 11.03.2023 WRITING TASK: Would you feel bad if... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 4
132183 What are the dangers of swimming to the open water alone? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 1
132182 How can you protect yourself from dangers abroad? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 5160
132181 Why is financial stability important? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 5105
132180 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 7
132179 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 3936
132178 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 1
132177 What do you think the differences are between male and female... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 1
132176 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you believe... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 0
132175 Do you think money can buy happiness, or do you believe in the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-04 5410
132174 Are there any beautiful mountains in your country? Describe them. ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 4195

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04