¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-22 2799

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?

In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?


In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
>> In my opinion, if we don't have free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
>> That's because it is our work place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
>> CORRECT!
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
>> They film, edit, and post their daily life on YouTube while working in their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
>> But, there are many companies that don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
>> It's because they work for their social media instead of their main job in the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132297 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1
132296 My know-how to handle changes ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 3950
132295 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1
132294 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 3545
132293 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 3800
132292 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 4150
132291 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 4945
132290 \"How long are you willing to wait for someone to arrive? Why so? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 4260
132289 What kind of benefits do elderly/senior people in your country... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 4866
132288 What are some things that you don\'t like about living in... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 4313
132287 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2482
132286 How do you choose where to go? Are you inspired by other... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 4930
132285 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 4514
132284 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 1
132283 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 0
132282 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 0
132281 Fulfilling the requests ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 4771
132280 homework 11.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 3176
132279 Explain what you would do if your friends showed up at your... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 0
132278 What are the advantages of learning new skills? Sometimes,... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04