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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of world do you think would be this if people never went to school?

작성자: 김*경
2023-11-23 2709

회원님의 영작문

Something from which people can learn, such as schools could mean that there is no share and progress in knowledge or technology. Without knowledge accumulated incessantly, humanity could end up living primitive lives. I can’t attribute human evolution and development in knowledge only to schools, of which contribution we can’t underestimate to what people have achieved so far.

If we don't have a public school system, people would have to settle for a private tutoring system, which had been cherished by the rich. This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to have their children better off than them. To recap, public education systems, such as schools will see a drastic gap in knowledge accumulation by families or countries and experience downward standardization of education.

I'd like to tell my son who doesn't like school about the virtues of schools that he has had benefits. I would make it clear to him that school is the blessing that some other people have longed for.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve! Keep up your consistency in completing your homework every day. Great job! In terms of grammar, your sentences are correct. I've sent revised sentences for your reference, focusing on clarity and punctuation.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

Something from which people can learn, such as schools could mean that there is no share and progress in knowledge or technology. 
>>> Something from which people can learn, such as schools, could mean that there is no sharing and progress in knowledge or technology.
Without knowledge accumulated incessantly, humanity could end up living primitive lives. 
>>> CORRECT!!
I can’t attribute human evolution and development in knowledge only to schools, of which contribution we can’t underestimate to what people have achieved so far.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I can't attribute human evolution and the development of knowledge solely to schools, the contribution of which we cannot underestimate in what people have achieved so far.
If we don't have a public school system, people would have to settle for a private tutoring system, which had been cherished by the rich. 
>>> CORRECT!!
This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to have their children better off than them. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to see their children better off than themselves.
To recap, public education systems, such as schools will see a drastic gap in knowledge accumulation by families or countries and experience downward standardization of education.
>>> CORRECT!!
I'd like to tell my son who doesn't like school about the virtues of schools that he has had benefits. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I'd like to tell my son, who doesn't like school, about the virtues of schools from which he has benefited.
I would make it clear to him that school is the blessing that some other people have longed for.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I would make it clear to him that school is a blessing that some other people have longed for.

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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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