¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best place to raise a family

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-18 1968

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.
Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.
And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.
I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.
Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.
He had lived alone because of his job. At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You have written a meaningful answer, Min. ^^ I agree that the best place to raise a family is our "sweet home".
-Khai

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.

>> I think ¡°sweet home¡± is the best place to raise a family.

Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

>> It is because some children may not come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

>> Some elderly people will also feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.

>> I want to recommend a ¡°sweet home¡± where family members feel ¡°comfortable¡± when they come back home.

I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

>> I was raised in this ¡°sweet home¡±, so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.

>> CORRECT

He had lived alone because of his job.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Before, he lived alone because of his job.

At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> During that time, he had hair loss and skin problems.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

>> Therefore, the best place to raise a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're at home.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134828 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134827 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134826 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 2224
134825 Children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 3907
134824 About Korea society °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1913
134823 My daily routine °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 2336
134822 Do you ever worry about the safety of the rides at the amusement... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1832
134821 What fears do you have for the future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 2517
134820 Do you think property is always a good investment? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 4
134819 Is there any development with your \'friendship\' with IH? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134818 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134817 If you have the chance to learn another language, what would it... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1806
134816 What do you think of people who don\'t go to the dentist ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1990
134815 Write about something you regret having done ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 0
134814 If you were going to implement an ordinance, what would it be? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 2142
134813 How long should we know before we get married? ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1697
134812 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2087
134811 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1728
134810 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2
134809 People you can always count on ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1890

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04