¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-05-02 3126

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
See you soon!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Diego~!^^ Thanks for having an impressive understanding and depth of knowledge about your interests in writing topics. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Scientists have been warning for many years already that in order to protect the environment people should use less energy. 
However, most people do not change their ways of living. What is causing this behavior? How can people be encouraged to change?

There's a great apologue which is called 'Boiling frog.' 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The frog won't jump out from the pot because it boils slowly. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However frog will jump out when suddenly pot becomes hot.
>>> However, [the] frog [tried jumping] out when suddenly [the] pot becomes hot. 
This story tells us, people don't aware the changing  environment when it goes slowly. 
>>> This story tells us that people aren't aware of the changing  environment when it goes slowly. 
They need sudden impact or else they will stay dull. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Some people might still, there is hope, but I don't think people can change themselves.
>>> Some people might think that there is still hope, but I don't think people can change themselves.
 We are already paying the debt for what we have done for centuries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Around the world, so many disasters coming up.
>>> Around the world, so many disasters [occur].
Floods, abnormal temperature, typhoon, hurricanes and etc, but still, we recognize as simple events, unconnected phenomena.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The main course of the environment pollution is China and America.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They are powerful nations, other countries spend their products.
>>> They are powerful nations that other countries [consume] their products.
Their products inevitably accompany environment pollutions.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
So we cannot just blame them however, we have to make them concerned about the environment. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both countries are not even joining in 'Paris Climate Agreement'.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is time to unite and make one voice to both countries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 This problem cannot be solved by individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It should be treated by the government and companies.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The forceful measure is the effective way to change our behavior.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136496 Dance ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2092
136495 What kind of tourist attractions do you usually like to visit;... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2
136494 Homework Á¶*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2872
136493 holiday ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2699
136492 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 1
136491 What do you like most about living in Korea? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2448
136490 Did you fo through training in your workplace? How was it like? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 4
136489 Would you like to have a set of jewelry with your birthstone in... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 1999
136488 2024.04.16 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2276
136487 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 3
136486 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2186
136485 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 3417
136484 I think there is no end to learning, and the continuation of... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 3330
136483 Every day of the week requires a proper rest. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2453
136482 The closest person I respect is my family. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 3205
136481 What are some important things to consider when planning a trip... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2
136480 How do weekends make you feel? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 0
136479 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 3021
136478 Is it important for a country to have zoos? Why or why not? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 3687
136477 What do you think is the difference between a fear that is... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 2244

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04