¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The way to relieve my stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-03 2335

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Min!

I am glad that you made it here again on the composition page. 

Coping with stress is a lesson that they do not teach in school. Yet, it can impact our lives greatly if we do not know how to handle our stressful situations well. Hence, we need to aim for balance and boundary to know our limitations and strengths in dealing with challenges.

Congratulations for these two perfect sentences. They were well-written and composed.

See you later!

-T. Donna~

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
>> Correct!

After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137422 What is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 2769
137421 Are men better drivers than women? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 2484
137420 Do you need an alarm clock to wake up? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 3222
137419 Writing Task: What helps you get to sleep? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 2219
137418 The way to veteran ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 2972
137417 Why is honesty important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2430
137416 homework 05.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2568
137415 Protecting the natural environment ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2790
137414 What is the most popular mobile game in your country? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2916
137413 Why do our dreams change as we grow older? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 3022
137412 What are you passionate about? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2738
137411 How do you show respect to your teacher? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2704
137410 daughter-in-law ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2
137409 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2653
137408 5/24(Fri) Homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2568
137407 In general, what is the quality of customer service in Japan? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 0
137406 The assemble of art teachers °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2313
137405 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2780
137404 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 3083
137403 If you could create your own coffee blend, what flavors would... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 2999

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04