¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is there a difference in the way Koreans celebrate the Korean New Year and the Western New Year (Jan

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-02-04 1145

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, because Korean New Year is eat a rice cake soup and ring the bell but Western is enjoy a party for example Greece is Hang onions in the door and Denmark is dive on sofa.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided.  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                          

                  Is there a difference in the way Koreans celebrate the Korean New Year and the Western New Year?


Yes, because Korean New Year is eat a rice cake soup and ring the bell but Western is enjoy a party for example Greece is Hang onions in the door and Denmark is dive on sofa.
>> Yes, because Koreans celebrate Korean New Year by eating rice cake soup and ringing the bell but Western New Year is celebrated by enjoying parties. For example, in Greece, they hang onions at their doors, and in Denmark, they dive on their sofas.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141406 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1564
141405 Is it fair to punish children for making mistakes? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1876
141404 What¡¯s your favorite part of having a friend stay over at your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1827
141403 ¡°How My Daily Routine Reflects My Personal Growth¡± ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1678
141402 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1539
141401 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1947
141400 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1689
141399 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2
141398 Is there any form of greeting you want to change? Explain¡£ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2
141397 The government should help people Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 3
141396 What do you like to do every day? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2584
141395 Do you enjoy observing what other people are doing? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1803
141394 Do you usually have coffee, tea, or something else with your... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 7
141393 Why do you think that most people take a nap in the middle of... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1766
141392 Write about your most memorable Friday. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1888
141391 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1
141390 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1946
141389 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1752
141388 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1662
141387 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1763

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04