¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-02-14 1161

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, advantages is more people play with me and disadvantages is loud, annoying and they are touch my things so could be breaking my things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. See you soon! 


Cheers,
Jean~~

        



                    What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins?


First, advantages is more people play with me and disadvantages is loud, annoying and 
they are touch my things so could be breaking my things.
>> One advantage is that I have more people to play with, whereas some advantages are, that they are loud, annoying, and touch or even break my things. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143555 0409 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 2
143554 Do you like purchasing items or goods ahead of time? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 674
143553 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 808
143552 water ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143551 shark ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143550 I want ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143549 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 3
143548 What is the most important change we can make to protect the... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 790
143547 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 836
143546 What kind of person do you want your child to become, and how... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 958
143545 In what ways has your relationship with your pet affedted your... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 818
143544 Have you ever had a special memory or event happen in a... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 842
143543 What are the advantages of being bilingual? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 809
143542 What are the most important things you want to share when... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 907
143541 What are the pros of socializing with other people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 920
143540 Why do you think more people choose not to get married recently? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 740
143539 Talk about the crime rate in the place where you live. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 765
143538 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 821
143537 Ideal family structure ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 797
143536 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 789

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04