¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-26 577

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The reason why people work a lot is that their economic power is weakened that much.
Economic power here does not enrich our lives, but it refers to the money we spend and the economic ability we earn to enjoy life.
We have made economic progress, but we don't make much money to enrich our lives, which is why we take a lot of working hours.
To do this, bosses need to comply with the law and collaborate with workers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ You did an excellent job establishing the context and clearly outlining the central theme of your essay. By presenting a thoughtful opening, you set a strong foundation for the argument that follows, making it easy for the reader to understand the direction of your analysis. The way you framed the issue not only engages but also encourages a deeper exploration of the topic in the body of the essay.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The reason why people work a lot is that their economic power is weakened that much.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Economic power here does not enrich our lives, but it refers to the money we spend and the economic ability we earn to enjoy life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We have made economic progress, but we don't make much money to enrich our lives, which is why we take a lot of working hours.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
To do this, bosses need to comply with the law and collaborate with workers.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143254 The homework for 25th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 209
143253 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 0
143252 2025.03.26 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 225
143251 the gym ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 1
143250 Have you ever felt that painting takes too much time and effort? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 232
143249 free dress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 0
143248 admit ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 1
143247 What does a holiday mean to you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 283
143246 What¡¯s the most memorable family gathering you¡¯ve attended? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 257
143245 Describe the most memorable day you had last week. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 229
143244 tax-free ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 251
143243 Do you have friends from a culture or country different from... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 248
143242 If you could meet you any dead person, what would you do ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 277
143241 Korean culture and tradition ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 222
143240 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 272
143239 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 296
143238 3/25 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-26 296
143237 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-25 1
143236 I don¡¯t have a confidence ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-25 226
143235 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04