¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Share one story you\'ve read about the moon.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-06-15 240

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good afternoon there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                Share one story you've read about the moon.


Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.
>> The famous story about the moon is not true - there is no water, and no rabbit living on it. In fact, no animals can survive on the moon.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143796 0423 IELTS writing Task 2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 1
143795 Ointment ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 856
143794 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 709
143793 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 660
143792 Why do you think K-Dramas are popular around the world? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-24 3
143791 What are the things that you currently desire? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143790 Is it okay to say no when someone asks for a favor? Why or why... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 899
143789 What was the best improvement in your writing skills nowadays? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 3
143788 4/23 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 2
143787 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143786 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 2
143785 Who is your all-time favorite sports star? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 825
143784 What makes something special? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 779
143783 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143782 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143781 The homework for 23rd April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 989
143780 What would you do if you noticed something suspicious happening... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143779 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 685
143778 ielts speaking p2,3_3 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143777 ielts speaking p2,3_2 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04