¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people today are more stressed at work than in the past? why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*¿µ
2025-07-08 80

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think these days people have a lot of types of job.
So,they can choose their job what they want to.Except me.
According to an article, many young people quit their job easily.
In my opinion, The reason is that they doesn¡¯t need to patience,like hard work or situations that they can¡¯t endure.
I believe this phenomenone is not bad.
I feel like our health is more important than other ones these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Stella, 
As always, thank you for taking the time to respond to this essay. 😊
I agree with you, health is the most important aspect of our lives.
We should take good care of ourselves and always prioritize our health.
See you in a bit! 😊
- Teacher Elly~


I think these days people have a lot of types of job.
>> I think these days, people have many different types of jobs.

So,they can choose their job what they want to.Except me.
>> So they can choose the job they want, except me.

According to an article, many young people quit their job easily.
>> 
According to an article, many young people quit their jobs easily.

In my opinion, The reason is that they doesn¡¯t need to patience,like hard work or situations that they can¡¯t endure.
>> 
In my opinion, the reason is that they don't have patience for hard work or difficult situations.

I believe this phenomenone is not bad.
>> I believe this phenomenon is not bad.

I feel like our health is more important than other ones these days.
>> I feel like our health is more important than anything else these days.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144506 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 327
144505 What is the importance of taking care of nature? What can we do... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 234
144504 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 156
144503 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 2
144502 Amazon rainforest ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 5
144501 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 221
144500 What could be the advantage of having an RSVP? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 187
144499 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 0
144498 Can allowing too much freedom sometimes lead to problems? Why or... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 1
144497 Do you think people learn better from experience or from books?... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 240
144496 The Amazon Rainforest À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 175
144495 Homework ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 1
144494 Homework ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 4
144493 HOMEWORK ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 1
144492 How can we encourage more youth to participate in elections and... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 252
144491 What is your philosophy in life? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 6
144490 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 316
144489 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-08 229
144488 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-08 1
144487 What challenges have you faced when trying to follow directions... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-07 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04