¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-07-10 9

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My best weekend is going to travel in weekend because weekend is fun and travel is fun.
So very very fun travel in weekend.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good night's sleep!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                              


                                Write about the best weekend trip you\'ve ever had.



My best weekend is going to travel in weekend because weekend is fun and travel is fun.
So very very fun travel in weekend.
>>> The best weekends are when I get to travel. It¡¯s the perfect mix of fun and joy. 
>>> OR: Traveling over the weekend helps me unwind while exploring something new - pure joy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144967 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 0
144966 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 0
144965 When you¡¯re sick, what¡¯s your go-to comfort food or drink? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 19
144964 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 19
144963 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 30
144962 What tasks would you be willing to handle while house-sitting... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 23
144961 What do you think is the most famous collection in the world and... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 1
144960 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 3
144959 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 17
144958 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 1
144957 Have your shopping habits changed over the years? In what ways? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 23
144956 What three (3) adjectives best describe your personality?... ¼Õ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 23
144955 The homework for 2nd July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 33
144954 this ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 1
144953 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 1
144952 What does a happy life look like? What would you need to do to... ÃÖ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 41
144951 How frequently should someone meditate to experience the... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 97
144950 Advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 33
144949 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 32
144948 6/26 Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-07 27

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04