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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can the government rebuild trust with the medical community while pushing needed reforms? What s

작성자: 김*경
2025-07-15 26

회원님의 영작문

The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push its medical reform plan. The previous administration should have taken a more reciprocal and collaborative approach to address issues across the entire medical system. For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or in less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.

If both parties had worked together to tackle these challenges, they could have advanced the Korean healthcare system even further. Moreover, it is important for doctors to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and to their patients. Some responsibility for this impasses also lies with doctors' profit-driven mindset. Doctors should seriously reflect on why they chose this profession and renew their dedication to serving patients.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Steve, 

Thanks for sharing your insights. I agree with all of it. 

Nice one!


-Teacher Ash

The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push its medical reform plan. 

>>> The current standoff between the government and the medical community seems to have arisen from the government’s unilateral push for its medical reform plan. 


The previous administration should have taken a more reciprocal and collaborative approach to address issues across the entire medical system.

>>> CORRECT!


 For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or in less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.

>>> For example, offering greater incentives or benefits to doctors who choose to work in underserved regions or less popular but essential specialties, such as pediatrics, could have been an effective strategy.


If both parties had worked together to tackle these challenges, they could have advanced the Korean healthcare system even further.

>>> CORRECT!


 Moreover, it is important for doctors to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and to their patients.

>>> Moreover, doctors need to reflect on their commitment to the healthcare system and their patients.


 Some responsibility for this impasses also lies with doctors' profit-driven mindset.

>>> The responsibility also lies with the doctors' mindset.


 Doctors should seriously reflect on why they chose this profession and renew their dedication to serving patients.

>>> CORRECT!
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