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권경희/2025-06-30
회원님의 올려주신 영작문
We could not be called discrimination about this phenomenon.
From company's point of view, it is natural that they want to hire who skillful and experienced person.
The worst cause of all this problem is related with rapid population decline.
Historically population decline and industry decline always occur together.
It is vicious cycle.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Good morning, Ms. Lily!
Great job for expressing your thoughts about the article. Yes, most companies nowadays are looking for workers who can be an asset. That is to avoid wasting time, energy, and funds. I am just concerned about the newly graduated, how can they get experience if no one will hire them?
Aki~
We could not be called discrimination about this phenomenon.
>>> We could not be called discriminatory about this phenomenon.
From company's point of view, it is natural that they want to hire who skillful and experienced person.
>>> From the company's point of view, it is natural that they want to hire who skillful and experienced person.
The worst cause of all this problem is related with rapid population decline.
>>> The worst cause of all these problems is related to rapid population decline.
Historically population decline and industry decline always occur together.
>>> Historically, population decline and industry decline have always occurred together.
It is vicious cycle.
>>> It is a vicious cycle.
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