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My homework

이상도/2025-07-06

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
HOMEWORK: At what age would you like to retire? In honestly, i wanna retire in 70 years old. Some People say that you save money until 55 years old, and then retire 60 years old. After that, you have to increase your saved money by investing stocks or bit coins. But these method so dangerous. I have seen many people who consume their money for meaningless. With great power comes great responsibility. I don't want to take big responsibility. I just have peaceful retire life. So, to that end, i really need longer working time, special skill, and lots of money. In my case, my appropriate retirement season is 70 years old. I have personal wish. i wonder that i get a job asap for my fast end :)
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Alex!
I appreciate your time writing your composition~ I read them all, and 70 is quite a long wait for me... If I had the choice, I would like to retire now HAHAHAH... But yeah, we need to consider our  capability in sustaining our needs before we think of retiring... hahaha
Chammy
In honestly, i wanna retire in 70 years old.
>> In honesty, I would like to retire at 70 years old.
Some People say that you save money until 55 years old, and then retire 60 years old.
>> Some people say that you have to save money until 55 years old, then retire at 60.
 After that, you have to increase your saved money by investing stocks or bit coins.
>> After that, you have to increase your savings by investing in stocks and bitcoins.
 But these method so dangerous. I have seen many people who consume their money for meaningless.
>> But these methods are risky. I have seen many people who spent their money on meaningless things.
 With great power comes great responsibility. I don't want to take big responsibility. I just have peaceful retire life.
>> With great power comes great responsibility, but no one likes big responsibilities. In my case, I just want to have a peaceful retirement.
So, to that end, i really need longer working time, special skill, and lots of money.
>> So at the end, I really need to work longer, acquire special skills, and make a lot of money.
In my case, my appropriate retirement season is 70 years old.
>> For me, the appropriate retirement age is 70 years old.
I have personal wish. i wonder that i get a job asap for my fast end :)
>> I have a personal wish, but I wonder if I could get a job to expedite reaching my goal.
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