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영작교정 첨삭 서비스
An assignment for lesson 4.
최수철/2025-07-22
회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Yes, international travel can be very important for personal growth. In other words, travel often sparks curiosity about history, politics, food, or languages. It opens doors to the multicultural persfective of my insight and the embrace of other race's culture as well. Consquently, Immersing yourself in another culture builds empathy which is very important for me to live on the Earth. You start to appreciate different customs, languages, and values, and you become more sensitive to diversity in your own environment.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Charlie^^
Thank you for sharing.
That's an insightful thought.
_T. SHAY^^
***
Yes, international travel can be very important for personal growth.
Thank you for sharing.
That's an insightful thought.
_T. SHAY^^
***
Yes, international travel can be very important for personal growth.
>>Correct
OR: Yes, international travel can play a significant role in personal growth.
In other words, travel often sparks curiosity about history, politics, food, or languages.
OR: Yes, international travel can play a significant role in personal growth.
In other words, travel often sparks curiosity about history, politics, food, or languages.
>>In other words, travel often sparks curiosity about history, politics, food, and languages.
OR: In essence, traveling can stimulate curiosity about various subjects like history, politics, food, and languages.
OR: In essence, traveling can stimulate curiosity about various subjects like history, politics, food, and languages.
It opens doors to the multicultural persfective of my insight and the embrace of other race's culture as well.
>>It opens the door to a multicultural perspective and helps me embrace cultures of others as well.
Consquently, Immersing yourself in another culture builds empathy which is very important for me to live on the Earth.
Consquently, Immersing yourself in another culture builds empathy which is very important for me to live on the Earth.
>>Consequently, immersing yourself in another culture builds empathy, which is very important for me to live on Earth.
OR: As a result, immersing yourself in another culture fosters empathy, which is essential for living on this planet.
OR: As a result, immersing yourself in another culture fosters empathy, which is essential for living on this planet.
You start to appreciate different customs, languages, and values, and you become more sensitive to diversity in your own environment.
>>Correct
OR: You learn to value different customs, languages, and values, and become more attuned to diversity in your surroundings.
OR: You learn to value different customs, languages, and values, and become more attuned to diversity in your surroundings.
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