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Do you think the individualistic mindset and society also contribute to the increasing cases of lone

김유진/2025-08-06

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

individualistic mindset of Koreans might made them lonely or feel isolated, but it also made them can depend on themselves. Anyway, because they are so individualistic many people are living alone. So individualistic mindset contribute Korea’s increasing lonely death.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Eugene. Have a great day!

individualistic mindset of Koreans might made them lonely or feel isolated, but it also made them can depend on themselves.

>>> The individualistic mindset of Koreans might make them feel lonely or isolated, but it also allows them to depend on themselves.

Anyway, because they are so individualistic many people are living alone.

>>> However, because they are so individualistic, many people live alone.

So individualistic mindset contribute Korea’s increasing lonely death.

>>> correct

>>> OR: This individualistic mindset contributes to Korea’s increasing number of lonely deaths.