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Finding what is important

김희원/2025-08-06

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

I think that is negative competition Because university should be student can finding it that they want But If student was received low test score sudent couldn't get to favorit major in University And than , nowadays people changing the perspective of University Because they only want to University name , not care of major It is more competition situation was made to forget what is the most important

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there Un! Thanks for your essay! Your idea is valid and interesting opinion, but the meaning is sometimes unclear due to grammar and sentence structure. Check out some revisons. See you!

TEACHER GEMMA

I think that is negative competition Because university should be student can finding it that they want
But If student was received low test score sudent couldn't get to favorit major in University

REVISED VERSION: I think this is a negative form of competition. University should be a place where students can study what they truly want. However, if a student receives a low test score, they often cannot enter their favorite major.

And than , nowadays people changing the perspective of University Because they only want to University name , not care of major

REVISED VERSION:

These days, many people choose universities based only on their name or reputation, rather than focusing on the major they are interested in.

It is more competition situation was made to forget what is the most important

REVISED VERSION: As a result, students may forget what is really important.