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We need to create an innovative element

김희원/2025-08-12

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Many countries have a lot of Caffè and Dessert store , People drink cup of juice like water. Juice has higher sugar than any food even doesn't have nutriment. So, Researcher created zero sugar as element of food. It is using of various Dessert and Juice for People. I think it will make to development food way that people to eat
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi there Un! Thanks for doing your essay! The paragraph moves from a common observation to a possible solution. However, you've got to watch out for sentence structure and grammar for some sentences are a bit confusing. Keep writing!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many countries have a lot of Caffe; and Dessert store , People drink cup of juice like water.
REVISED: Many countries have many cafés and dessert shops, and people drink juice as if it were water. 

Juice has higher sugar than any food even doesn't have nutriment. 
REVISED: However, juice often contains more sugar than most foods and lacks essential nutrients.

So, Researcher created zero sugar as element of food. It is using of various Dessert and Juice for People. 
REVISED: To address this, researchers have developed zero-sugar ingredients that are now widely used in various desserts and beverages.

I think it will make to development food way that people to eat
REVISED: I believe this will help improve how food is made and encourage healthier eating habits.
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