¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Cosmetic Surgery

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-01-08 379

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks?
I think some people should have to take the surgery.
Because there are some people that the outside is ugly but the inside, he(she) have a loving heart.
So when that kind of people take the surgery, they became the person that the outside is beautiful and the inside is beautiful too!
I think some people should have to take the surgery.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Here's your 2nd edited homework, Clair! Catch you next week!

Cheers,
Jean~~

           Theme: [ESSAY] Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks?


I think some people should have to take the surgery. Because there are some people that the outside is ugly but the inside, he(she) have a loving heart.
>> I think some people need to have surgery because there are those that are beautiful inside but ugly outside.

So when that kind of people take the surgery, they became the person that the outside is beautiful and the inside is beautiful too!
>> So when that kind of people undergo surgery, their beauty inside would be reflected outside, which means that their inner and outer beauty would match. 

I think some people should have to take the surgery.
>> So I believe some people should have cosmetic surgery.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104534 [1/8]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 1
104533 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 310
104532 Etiquette of keeping time ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 356
104531 Homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 278
104530 I\'m not good at technology ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 410
104529 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 416
104528 Homework_21.01.07 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 1
104527 Are you annoyed by demanding clients at your work? Answer in a... Àå*¹è ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 275
104526 EnglishHomework12 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 333
104525 What impact does technology have on stress? Does it increase it... °­*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 1
104524 Is it common in your country to complain about bad service? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 2
104523 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 2
104522 The color of make me happy is bule and sky color. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 406
104521 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 309
104520 Practice1 ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 355
104519 Temperature Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 351
104518 Homework 1.11 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 354
104517 Homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 5
104516 Many educational institutions give greater importance to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 327
104515 What the hardest struggle you\'ve ever experienced in your life? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04