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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. H

작성자: 황*하
2021-01-14 317

회원님의 영작문

This is related with the standard of happiness. Some people think that they are happy even though they are not rich but others feel the emptiness of life because they have everything which everyone envy it such as money, honor and so on. I feel depressed when I achieve my goal. I don't know what I have to do next whenever I hit my target. In capitalistic society, rich people can buy anything with their money. They can also keep their health well because they are able to get special treatment from the hospital. Sadly, rich people can access the best hospital with their wealth. We know that people who have power, money and fame always are treated in a different way from the general people. Everyone think that they will be happier if they have have a lot of money but we can find a lot of people in some countries who feel like happy even if their country is not wealthy. Being Happy can achieve with changing our mind and various policies our country have.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

IMPRESSIVE DAY MR. HWANG~! ^^
The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
And the most successful individuals are those who are willing to put in a productive day’s work before they even receive success.
Keep going!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
This is related with the standard of happiness. 
>>> CORRECT
Some people think that they are happy even though they are not rich but others feel the emptiness of life because they have everything which everyone envies such as money, honor and so on.
>>> CORRECT
 I feel depressed when I achieve my goal.
>>> CORRECT
 I don't know what I have to do next whenever I hit my target.
>>> CORRECT
 In capitalistic society, rich people can buy anything with their money. 
>>> CORRECT
They can also keep their health well because they are able to get special treatment from the hospital. 
>>> CORRECT
Sadly, rich people can access the best hospital with their wealth. 
>>> CORRECT
We know that people who have power, money and fame are always treated in a different way from the general people.
>>> CORRECT
 Everyone thinks that they will be happier if they have have a lot of money but we can find a lot of people in some countries who are happy even if their country is not wealthy. 
>>> CORRECT
Being Happy can be achieved by changing our mind and various policies our country have.
>>> CORRECT
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[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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