¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹ü
2021-01-17 323

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the computer and the internet are greatest technological invention.

First, in virtue of computer, office works
Which are activities like making a report, drawing a picture, edit a video became very easy.

Second, the computer makes complicate calculation quickly

Third in virtue of the internet, we acquire information easily.
We can get real time news and we can sand a e-mail instead of a letter

Fourth, their are many convinent applications using internet like navigation, internet shopping, hotel reservation and e-book

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Chris! :)
Thank you for this~
You have made long sentences! Good job! :)

- T. Rina


1. In my opinion, the computer and the internet are greatest technological invention.
>> In my opinion, the computer and the internet are the greatest technological inventions.

2. First, in virtue of computer, office works Which are activities like making a report, drawing a picture, edit a video became very easy.
>> First, computers make office works such as making reports, drawing pictures and editing videos very easy. 

3. Second, the computer makes complicate calculation quickly
>> Second, the computer helps people solve complicated calculations quickly.

4. Third in virtue of the internet, we acquire information easily.
>> Third, the internet makes us acquire information easily.

5. We can get real time news and we can sand a e-mail instead of a letter
>> We can get real time news and we can send e-mails instead of letters. 

6. Fourth, their are many convinent applications using internet like navigation, internet shopping, hotel reservation and e-book
>> Fourth, there are many convenient applications on the internet that we can use for navigation, online shopping, hotel reservations and e-books. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104700 What\'s the best choice you have ever done in your life? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 0
104699 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 367
104698 How do you deal with your angry? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 345
104697 I was angry when I leaved the before company. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 458
104696 homework ÀÓ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 316
104695 President Park ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 329
104694 What do you do ti keep yourself fit and healthy? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 327
104693 Do you think policies are needed? Why? ¾ö*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 336
104692 Moon says all South Korea will be given free COVID-19 vaccines À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104691 Pet ownership in Japan on the rise amid COVID19 pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 2
104690 Describe your relationship with your family. ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 365
104689 What is your goal in life? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1039
104688 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 447
104687 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1311
104686 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104685 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104684 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104683 my project team ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 345
104682 Writing Exercise (1) ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 0
104681 ielts taks 1 ÀÌ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 395

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04