¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some unhealthy habits that you have?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-01-17 339

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are several bad habits that I have. Among them, the hardest one that I have tried fix is drinking coffee too many times.
When I wake up everymorning, my brain need a cup of coffee to start a day.
Also, after every meals, I want to drink a coffee again.
Sometimes, I felt pain in my stomach.
After helth check up, doctor advised me not to drink more than 1 cup of coffee in a day.
However, coffee time is not a just drink for me. It encourages me to be active in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Young Won!

Drinking coffee is one of the common vices of many people nowadays. I believe I am one of them too.

Drinking more water than coffee can be a good way to limit our coffee intake. As they always say when we drink liquor, "Drink moderately and responsibly." This goes too with coffee.

Thanks for drafting your answer very well.

See you in class!

-T. Donna =)

There are several bad habits that I have. Among them, the hardest one that I have tried fix is drinking coffee too many times.
>> Correct! 
Or: fix -> fixing
 
When I wake up everymorning, my brain need a cup of coffee to start a day.
>>When I wake up every morning, my brain needs a cup of coffee to start the day.

Also, after every meals, I want to drink a coffee again.
>> Correct!
Or: remove 'a'

Sometimes, I felt pain in my stomach.
>> Sometimes I feel pain in my stomach.

After helth check up, doctor advised me not to drink more than 1 cup of coffee in a day.
>> After my  health check up, the doctor advised me not to drink more than 1 cup of coffee in a day.

However, coffee time is not a just drink for me. It encourages me to be active in my life.
>> Correct!
Or: ...not just a drink...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104854 Please tell me about a serious issue that your school faced... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 318
104853 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 284
104852 What do you want to do in a cold weather? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 313
104851 What are the things you enjoy doing at home? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2613
104850 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 0
104849 English Homework 17 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 273
104848 Meeting new people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104847 Is it better to rent a home or buy a home? Give two reasons for... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 383
104846 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1
104845 Hair ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 4
104844 I think it is important to have shiny eyes. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104843 Explain or state the importance of \'family\' in your life. ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104842 Is it better to rent a home or buy a home? Give two reasons for... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1
104841 What interesting places in your area would you recommend... À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 0
104840 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 3
104839 Do you think the teacher should assign seats to students? Why or... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104838 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104837 How do you take care of your hair? ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 332
104836 What is your favorite game which is commonly played in Korea?... ¾ö*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 431
104835 Samsung heir sent back to jail À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04