¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some unhealthy habits that you have?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-01-17 341

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are several bad habits that I have. Among them, the hardest one that I have tried fix is drinking coffee too many times.
When I wake up everymorning, my brain need a cup of coffee to start a day.
Also, after every meals, I want to drink a coffee again.
Sometimes, I felt pain in my stomach.
After helth check up, doctor advised me not to drink more than 1 cup of coffee in a day.
However, coffee time is not a just drink for me. It encourages me to be active in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Young Won!

Drinking coffee is one of the common vices of many people nowadays. I believe I am one of them too.

Drinking more water than coffee can be a good way to limit our coffee intake. As they always say when we drink liquor, "Drink moderately and responsibly." This goes too with coffee.

Thanks for drafting your answer very well.

See you in class!

-T. Donna =)

There are several bad habits that I have. Among them, the hardest one that I have tried fix is drinking coffee too many times.
>> Correct! 
Or: fix -> fixing
 
When I wake up everymorning, my brain need a cup of coffee to start a day.
>>When I wake up every morning, my brain needs a cup of coffee to start the day.

Also, after every meals, I want to drink a coffee again.
>> Correct!
Or: remove 'a'

Sometimes, I felt pain in my stomach.
>> Sometimes I feel pain in my stomach.

After helth check up, doctor advised me not to drink more than 1 cup of coffee in a day.
>> After my  health check up, the doctor advised me not to drink more than 1 cup of coffee in a day.

However, coffee time is not a just drink for me. It encourages me to be active in my life.
>> Correct!
Or: ...not just a drink...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104695 President Park ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 328
104694 What do you do ti keep yourself fit and healthy? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 327
104693 Do you think policies are needed? Why? ¾ö*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 336
104692 Moon says all South Korea will be given free COVID-19 vaccines À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104691 Pet ownership in Japan on the rise amid COVID19 pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 2
104690 Describe your relationship with your family. ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 362
104689 What is your goal in life? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1039
104688 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 447
104687 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1310
104686 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104685 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104684 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 1
104683 my project team ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 345
104682 Writing Exercise (1) ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 0
104681 ielts taks 1 ÀÌ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-01-15 394
104680 The food that I like to eat everyday and not get tired of. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 436
104679 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 426
104678 When you are on the brink of giving up, what do you usually... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 391
104677 What is your goal in life? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 1
104676 What sport would you not want to try? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04