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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My Valued Possession

작성자: 김*해
2021-01-18 1220

회원님의 영작문

Q. What's your most valued possession? Why do you value it that much?

Actually, I think I have a lot of things and, I'm grateful for the things that I have.
Some of my possessions were given from my parents, and the others were given from my friends.
All of them are important for me, but the most valued things for me are what I gave to me by my own efforts and abilities.
The home where I live, the phone and laptop that I use and, the clothes that I cherish are all from my own.
For me, these things are the most valuable, because they are from my times and efforts.
I know that everyone can't have same things on fair.
That is why I think that, whatever it is, the possession from one's own is the most valuable to that person.
Through the things that I gave to me because I really wanted them, I can recognize the true value and be heartily grateful.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

It's so wonderful to meet someone who is both grateful for what she has, but also proud of the things she has accomplished independently. ^^ 
Thank you so much for sharing this with me! 
You are a strong, independent woman. ^^ 
Stay strong, Da Hae!


~t. Ally


-----------------------------------


Actually, I think I have a lot of things and, I'm grateful for the things that I have.
>> CORRECT!

Some of my possessions were given from my parents, and the others were given from my friends.
>> Some of my possessions were given by my parents, and the others were given by my friends.

All of them are important for me, but the most valued things for me are what I gave to me by my own efforts and abilities.
>> They are all important to me, but my most valued things are what I was able to earn and get from my own efforts and abilities.

The home where I live, the phone and laptop that I use and, the clothes that I cherish are all from my own.
>> CORRECT!

For me, these things are the most valuable, because they are from my times and efforts.
>> For me, these things are the most valuable because they came from my own efforts and time.

I know that everyone can't have same things on fair.
>> I know that everyone can't have the same things fairly.

That is why I think that, whatever it is, the possession from one's own is the most valuable to that person.
>> That is why I think that whatever possession someone has, it's what is most valuable to that person.

Through the things that I gave to me because I really wanted them, I can recognize the true value and be heartily grateful.
>> Through the things I got independently, I can recognize its true value and be heartily grateful. 

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