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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you still believe that advertisements nowadays are as convincing as before? Why or why not?

작성자: 조*아
2021-01-18 367

회원님의 영작문

Many people are exposed to various kinds of advertisements nowadays. Those advertisements try to convince people to buy some products or services. Do you think that advertisements can convince people as well as before?
I think they can. These days people face advertisements through various platforms like TV, SNS, Youtube, and so on. Therefore, people can watch advertisements anytime and anywhere. People cannot avoid them, so advertisements have more chances to convince customers.
People can share advertisements easily. The most efficient way to convince people is to spread comments of used people. People can write their comments through their SNS.
As the PPL market is grown up, advertising technique develops. People are exposed to advertisements even when they watch their favorite dramas. Many people are convinced to buy the product because attractive actors use it in drama.
In a conclusion, advertisements have more power than before because people can see them everywhere!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Wonderful job, Mina! Thank you for your tireless effort to do your homework. This is a great way to practice English more! -Faith-
Many people are exposed to various kinds of advertisements nowadays. 
>> CORRECT
Those advertisements try to convince people to buy some products or services. 
>> CORRECT
OR: They try to persuade people to purchase some of their products or services. 
Do you think that advertisements can convince people as well as before?
>> Do you think those advertisements can convince people as well as before?
I think they can. 
>> CORRECT
OR: Yes, I think so. 
These days people face advertisements through various platforms like TV, SNS, Youtube, and so on. 
>> These days people see advertisements through various platforms like TV, SNS, Youtube, and so on. 
Therefore, people can watch advertisements anytime and anywhere. 
>> Therefore, people can watch them anytime and anywhere. 
People cannot avoid them, so advertisements have more chances to convince customers.
>> CORRECT
OR: People have no way out of them, so there's a high possibility to convince customers.
People can share advertisements easily. 
>> CORRECT
The most efficient way to convince people is to spread comments of used people. 
>> The most efficient way to convince people is by word-of-mouth recommendations.
People can write their comments through their SNS.
>> CORRECT
As the PPL market is grown up, advertising technique develops. 
>> As the PPL market increases, advertising techniques develop. 
People are exposed to advertisements even when they watch their favorite dramas. 
>> CORRECT 
Many people are convinced to buy the product because attractive actors use it in drama.
>> Many people are convinced to buy a certain product because attractive actors use it in dramas.
In a conclusion, advertisements have more power than before because people can see them everywhere!
>> In conclusion, advertisements have more power than before because people can see them everywhere!
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HOW TO USE IT?

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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