¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you want to achieve for your health in the next 5years?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-01-19 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today, people consider their health a lot, because our environment is getting worse and many kind if diseases come up everyday.
Therefore, I am planing to have two new habits and settle them in next 5 years.
First, I will not angry at anybody as much as possible.
Mistly, I have been exhausted after I was angry at someone or something. Exporing anger needs plenty of energy.
Second, I will drink at least 6cups of water.
I havn't enjoyed drinking juice, water and other liquid thing except coffee.
Those two things are that I should achive in next 5 years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning Young Won!

These two things are very achievable. If you have a supportive environment and a very good self control, these are good as done.

I will track your improvement too, don't worry. =)

Stay fit, healthy, and happy always.

-T. Donna =)

Today, people consider their health a lot, because our environment is getting worse and many kind if diseases come up everyday.
>> Correct! 
Or> Remove comma (,); many kinds of...

Therefore, I am planing to have two new habits and settle them in next 5 years.
>> Therefore, I am planning to have two new habits and settle them in the next 5 years.

First, I will not angry at anybody as much as possible.
>> First, I will not  be angry with anybody as much as possible.

Mistly, I have been exhausted after I was angry at someone or something. Exporing anger needs plenty of energy.
>> Correct!
Or: Spelling: Mostly; Exploring

Second, I will drink at least 6cups of water.
>> Correct!

I havn't enjoyed drinking juice, water and other liquid thing except coffee.
>> I haven't enjoyed drinking juice, water, and other liquid things except for coffee.

Those two things are that I should achive in next 5 years.
>> Those two things are what I should achieve in the next 5 years.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104956 Sokcho Vacation ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 297
104955 At what age do people usually begin to work in your country? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 395
104954 My opinion about the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 389
104953 Do you use chat rooms? If so, what chat rooms do you use and who... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 422
104952 Homework (209) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 302
104951 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 386
104950 My fashion! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 280
104949 The best memory I have had in Prague Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 5
104948 Yes! I believe in dinosaur! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 327
104947 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 304
104946 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 309
104945 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 366
104944 I don\'t like camping but I had before À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 347
104943 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104942 English Homework 19 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 294
104941 Would you rather go to someone else\'s house for a party or have... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104940 Late vs Early Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 323
104939 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104938 GERUND or INFINITIVE? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 1
104937 Tell your teacher the worst customer that you have encountered ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 282

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04