¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Even though doctors advise old people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough. What

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-01-21 285

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As you get older, it is needed to get an exercise.
But many old people don¡¯t exercise for themselves.
I think it occurs because it is difficult to move as they get older.
So, they need motivation to get more exercise.
In fact, my grandmother has pain in her knees so it is need to do surgery.
But she didn¡¯t want to do surgery, so she did exercise hard and she overcame her pain.
Of course, it may be only possible for my grandmother.
But I think if people have motivation, they will do everything.
I have heard the story about the man with paraplegia.
He couldn¡¯t walk after an accident, but he walked at her daughter¡¯s wedding.
It is a prove that if people have motivation, they can do anything.
In conclusion, I think if old people have motivation, they can get an exercise like young people.
Thank you for reading my essay.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

GOOD MORNING CLEO~! ^^ ¡°A dream does not become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.¡±
Keep up the good work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
As you get older, it is needed to get an exercise.
OR>>>> As you get older, it is necessary to exercise.
But many old people don¡¯t exercise for themselves.
>>> CORRECT 
I think it occurs because it is difficult to move as they get older.
>>> I think, it happens because it is difficult to move as they get older.
So, they need a motivation to get more exercise.
>>>> CORRECT 
In fact, my grandmother has pain in her knees so it is need to do surgery.
>>> In fact, my grandmother is having difficulties with her knees so she needs surgery.
But she didn¡¯t want to do surgery, so she did exercise hard and she overcame her pain.
>>> But she didn¡¯t want to do the surgery, so she exercised hard and she overcame her pain.
Of course, it may be only possible for my grandmother.
>>> Of course, it may be possible for my grandmother.
But I think if people have motivations, they will do everything.
>>>> CORRECT 
I have heard the story about the man with paraplegia.
>>>> CORRECT 
He couldn¡¯t walk after an accident, but he walked at her daughter¡¯s wedding.
>>>> CORRECT 
It is a prove that if people have motivation, they can do anything.
>>> It is a proof that if people have motivations, they can do anything.
In conclusion, I think if old people have motivations, they can get an exercise like young people.
>>>> CORRECT 
Thank you for reading my essay.
>>>> CORRECT 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104864 Do you like spending time at home? Why or why not? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 337
104863 (HW) Are there any foods that bring back special memories for... Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 374
104862 Jean teacher! My first homework. ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104861 I can live for one day without my mobile phone. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 264
104860 Homework (207) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 301
104859 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 315
104858 Traditional Korean Food ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 308
104857 [1/19]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1
104856 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 276
104855 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 248
104854 Please tell me about a serious issue that your school faced... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 320
104853 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 287
104852 What do you want to do in a cold weather? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 320
104851 What are the things you enjoy doing at home? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2616
104850 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 0
104849 English Homework 17 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 277
104848 Meeting new people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104847 Is it better to rent a home or buy a home? Give two reasons for... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 387
104846 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1
104845 Hair ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04