¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-01-21 228

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is something that you need to focus on improving this 2021?
-> I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.
First, I'm going to middle school, and middle school's study is more harder than elementary school's study.
Second, study is very helpful to us for living this land, and living this life.
So I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.
>> I think I need to focus on more studying this 2021. 

First, I'm going to middle school, and middle school's study is more harder than elementary school's study.
>> First, I'm about to go to middle school which requires more studying than elementary schools. 

Second, study is very helpful to us for living this land, and living this life.
>> Lastly, studying is an essential for living.

So I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.
>> So I think I need to focus more on studying.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104654 I have already changed my name. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 1
104653 As a Korean citizen, what do you think should the government... ä*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 297
104652 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 485
104651 What images are in your mind when you hear the word ¡®English¡¯?... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 1
104650 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 3
104649 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 472
104648 What kind of music do you listen to when you want to relax? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 1
104647 In some countries young people are not only richer, but also... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 324
104646 What do you do to stay positive in a bad situation? Explain ¾ö*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 385
104645 What one geat lesson did you learn from your car accident... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 378
104644 Writing homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 334
104643 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 1
104642 (HW) Weekends in some countries are Fridays and Saturdays, in... Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 378
104641 As a Korean citizen, what do you think should the government... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 2
104640 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 6
104639 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 264
104638 About freedom ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 334
104637 Homework (202) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 316
104636 Day6 Áö* ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 2
104635 I have three wishes. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 365

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04