¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Even though doctors advise old people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough. What

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-01-22 298

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As getting old, general function of body get decrease. Old people usually lose their muscle and also lose their weigh. We all know that exercise can help keeping our health but individuals have specific problem in terms of their physical performance. If everyone follows doctor's advice, nobody will be sick. We are human so each people have their preference while they are living. Some people don't like activities and exercise, on the other hand others try to do any kind of exercise for their personal reason. There are a lot of things to do for fun these day from computer game to physical activities. However, when people get old, there are small things they can do because of their condition. But I totally people have to do more exercise to keep their health. Exercise and food are the most important factor which maintain our health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY MR. HWANG~! ^^
Fridays are so awesome that every day in the week should be Fridays.
Weekends wouldn¡¯t be so special for us if there was no Friday. Make the best of it this week. Wishing you a very enjoyable Friday with your family!
Enjoy your studies!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
As getting old, general function of body get decrease.
>>> As people get older, the general function of the body is decreasing. 
Old people usually lose their muscle and also lose their weight. 
>>>  CORRECT
We all know that exercise can help keeping our health but individuals have specific problem in terms of their physical performance.
>>> We all know that exercising can help keep our health but individuals have specific problems in terms of their physical performance.
 If everyone follows doctor's advice, nobody will be sick.
>>> If everyone follows the doctor's advice, nobody will be sick.
 We are human so each people have their preference while they are living. 
>>>  We are humans so people have their preference while they are living. 
Some people don't like activities and exercise, on the other hand others try to do any kind of exercise for their personal reason. 
>>> Some people don't like doing activities and exercising, on the other hand others try to do any kinds of exercise for their personal reason. 
There are a lot of things to do for fun these day from computer game to physical activities. 
>>> There are a lot of things to do for fun these days from computer games to physical activities. 
However, when people get old, there are small things they can do because of their condition. 
>>> However, when people get older, there are limited things they can do because of their condition. 
But I totally people have to do more exercise to keep their health. 
>>> But I totally agree that people have to do more exercise to keep their health. 
Exercise and food are the most important factor which maintain our health.
>>> Exercise and food are the most important factors to maintain our health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105322 Would you leave your hometown forever or stay in your hometown... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105321 Do you like asking strangers for direction when looking for a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105320 What do you like most about your best friend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 313
105319 my new product ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 272
105318 English Homework 23 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 372
105317 How do you like your retirement would be like? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 417
105316 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 8
105315 Food that I can cook ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 323
105314 Why do you think the earth\'s temperature is getting hotter? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105313 2/2 ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 302
105312 public Transportation ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 414
105311 Are there any places you\'re not interested in visiting? À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105310 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105309 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105308 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105307 My assignment Çã*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 271
105306 What should I do if I¡¯m homeless ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 369
105305 What\'s your favorite season and why? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 374
105304 What subject do you want to be removed? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 0
105303 Homework (216) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 292

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04