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Even though doctors advise old people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough. What

작성자: 황*하
2021-01-22 289

회원님의 영작문

As getting old, general function of body get decrease. Old people usually lose their muscle and also lose their weigh. We all know that exercise can help keeping our health but individuals have specific problem in terms of their physical performance. If everyone follows doctor's advice, nobody will be sick. We are human so each people have their preference while they are living. Some people don't like activities and exercise, on the other hand others try to do any kind of exercise for their personal reason. There are a lot of things to do for fun these day from computer game to physical activities. However, when people get old, there are small things they can do because of their condition. But I totally people have to do more exercise to keep their health. Exercise and food are the most important factor which maintain our health.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY MR. HWANG~! ^^
Fridays are so awesome that every day in the week should be Fridays.
Weekends wouldn’t be so special for us if there was no Friday. Make the best of it this week. Wishing you a very enjoyable Friday with your family!
Enjoy your studies!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
As getting old, general function of body get decrease.
>>> As people get older, the general function of the body is decreasing. 
Old people usually lose their muscle and also lose their weight. 
>>>  CORRECT
We all know that exercise can help keeping our health but individuals have specific problem in terms of their physical performance.
>>> We all know that exercising can help keep our health but individuals have specific problems in terms of their physical performance.
 If everyone follows doctor's advice, nobody will be sick.
>>> If everyone follows the doctor's advice, nobody will be sick.
 We are human so each people have their preference while they are living. 
>>>  We are humans so people have their preference while they are living. 
Some people don't like activities and exercise, on the other hand others try to do any kind of exercise for their personal reason. 
>>> Some people don't like doing activities and exercising, on the other hand others try to do any kinds of exercise for their personal reason. 
There are a lot of things to do for fun these day from computer game to physical activities. 
>>> There are a lot of things to do for fun these days from computer games to physical activities. 
However, when people get old, there are small things they can do because of their condition. 
>>> However, when people get older, there are limited things they can do because of their condition. 
But I totally people have to do more exercise to keep their health. 
>>> But I totally agree that people have to do more exercise to keep their health. 
Exercise and food are the most important factor which maintain our health.
>>> Exercise and food are the most important factors to maintain our health.
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