¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Age of working in the society

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-22 273

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.

>> In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and for those younger than teenagers.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.

>> ( I'm sorry Sunny, I don't quite understand this sentence. ) Maybe you mean "They cannot get their own job at that age."
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.

>> So, people can usually work when they are almost an adult.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

>> I think the age which people start to work in my country is from the age of 20 years old.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105451 Which do you prefer, laptops or phones? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105450 Homework (219) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 459
105449 What are some special customs or traditions in your country? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 497
105448 HOMEWORK FOR 02.05 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 472
105447 What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105446 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 625
105445 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 1
105444 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 1
105443 Writing task Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 3
105442 Work - Email(2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105441 Work - Email(1) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105440 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 437
105439 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105438 Seocho-gu in Seoul Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 496
105437 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 2
105436 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 4
105435 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 402
105434 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 636
105433 Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 536
105432 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 644

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04