¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Age of working in the society

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-22 248

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.

>> In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and for those younger than teenagers.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.

>> ( I'm sorry Sunny, I don't quite understand this sentence. ) Maybe you mean "They cannot get their own job at that age."
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.

>> So, people can usually work when they are almost an adult.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

>> I think the age which people start to work in my country is from the age of 20 years old.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105005 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1439
105004 [1/21]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 2
105003 When do children leave their parents\' home in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
105002 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 388
105001 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 318
105000 I love to play a drum. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 338
104999 What do you want to do for a fun weekend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 344
104998 What can governments do to recover from the pandemic? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
104997 What is a challenge you faced? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 312
104996 Do you think that fruits and vegetables are good for your health? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 246
104995 English Homework 19 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 375
104994 What do you want to do if there is no corona virus? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 277
104993 Homework {01/25} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 296
104992 Pandemic ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 3
104991 What kind of exercise are you most interested in? Why? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 2
104990 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 310
104989 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
104988 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 277
104987 How do you feel about meeting clients in person? Answer in a... Àå*¹è ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 312
104986 What is your opinion about adoption, is adoption widely accepted... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04