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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Think of some punishments that could be really effective to correct a student\'s behavior.

작성자: 김*희
2021-01-23 375

회원님의 영작문

Although I don’t know if there really is such a punishment which I am going to explain about, in my opinion, the most effective punishment would be educating other students about the crime he/she committed. For example, the student who was caught by cheating on the test should educate others about why they shouldn’t cheat or the student who was caught by stealing things should teach others why they shouldn’t steal things. First of all, this kind of punishment may let the student realize their own fault and how big mistake they made. Also, by educating other students, the student who misbehaved my feel ashamed and will not repeat his misbehavior again. Furthermore, as other students are educated about the misbehavior, they would feel alerted that they shouldn’t do the same misdeed. This kind of punishment would have less physical or psychological effect on the student who misbehaved and can decrease the possibility of other students committing the same crime.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I like your thoughts, Minhee! I must also agree with you that we need counseling and values education! Well done! - Faith-
Although I don’t know if there really is such a punishment which I am going to explain about, 
>> I don’t know if there really is such a punishment which I am going to explain.
in my opinion, the most effective punishment would be educating other students about the crime he/she committed. 
>> In my opinion, the most effective punishment would be educating other students about the crime he/she committed. 
For example, the student who was caught by cheating on the test should educate others about why they shouldn’t cheat or the student who was caught by stealing things should teach others why they shouldn’t steal things. 
>> For example, the student who was caught cheating on the test should educate others about why they shouldn’t cheat or the student who was caught stealing things should teach others why they shouldn’t steal things. 
First of all, this kind of punishment may let the student realize their own fault and how big mistake they made. 
>> First of all, this kind of punishment may let the student realize their own fault and how big the mistake they made. 
Also, by educating other students, the student who misbehaved my feel ashamed and will not repeat his misbehavior again. 
>> Also, by educating other students, the student who misbehaved may feel ashamed and will not repeat his misbehavior. 
Furthermore, as other students are educated about the misbehavior, they would feel alerted that they shouldn’t do the same misdeed. 
>> Furthermore, as other students are educated about misbehavior, they would feel alert that they shouldn’t do the same misdeed. 
This kind of punishment would have less physical or psychological effect on the student who misbehaved and can decrease the possibility of other students committing the same crime.
>> CORRECT
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