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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts taks 1

작성자: 이*석
2021-01-25 274

회원님의 영작문



Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a person who has lived in this city for 10years.
I’m writing to give you feedback you requested that either to sponsor sport team or to pay for two concerts.

There are many benefits, even if you choose just one.
First of all, If the company sponsor a children's sport team, It can help for children who live in our city to increase their physical growth.
On the other hand, If the company contribute money to pay for the concerts, It also have a lot of benefits. For instance, Being increased a tourist can lead to develop of community economy.

Actually, I would like to suggest that the company sponsor a sports team for just one year, pay for just one concert equally. it will be a chance to get a local children’s growth and develop of local economy.

If you have any further question, please don’t hesitate to call me at 000-000-000

Respectfully,

Kiseok Lee.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Lee! It's a new week once again.

You have fulfilled the task on the letter and decided judiciously on what to do with the funds. Thank you for crafting a very good letter!

See you in class later!

-T. Donna =)


Dear Sir/Madam,
>> Correct!

I am a person who has lived in this city for 10years.
I’m writing to give you feedback you requested that either to sponsor sport team or to pay for two concerts.
>> I am a person who has lived in this city for 10 years. (Correct!)
I’m writing to give you a feedback on your request to either to sponsor a sports team or to pay for two concerts.

There are many benefits, even if you choose just one.
First of all, If the company sponsor a children's sport team, It can help for children who live in our city to increase their physical growth.
On the other hand, If the company contribute money to pay for the concerts, It also have a lot of benefits. For instance, Being increased a tourist can lead to develop of community economy.
>> There are many benefits, even if you choose just one. (Correct!)
First of all, if the company sponsors a children's sports team, it can help children who are living in our city to increase their physical growth.
On the other hand, if the company contributes money to pay for the concerts, it also has a lot of benefits. For instance, it will increase the number of tourists that can lead to the development  of the community's economy.

Actually, I would like to suggest that the company sponsor a sports team for just one year, pay for just one concert equally. it will be a chance to get a local children’s growth and develop of local economy.
>> Actually, I would like to suggest that the company will sponsor a sports team for just one year and pay for just one concert equally. It will be a chance to get a local children’s growth and develop local economy.

If you have any further question, please don’t hesitate to call me at 000-000-000
>> Correct! (Place period at the end of the sentence.)

Respectfully,
>> Correct!

Kiseok Lee.
>> No period at the end of your name.
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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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