¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Eating rice as main meal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-25 313

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like my country and its culture. But, I think that it is the best thing to have rice as main meal.
Because eating rice is really helpful for our health and it gives us energy to live our lives.
Plus, actually, I love rice, so I think this is the best for me in terms of not only eating something that I like but also keeping my body well.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I like my country and its culture. But, I think that it is the best thing to have rice as main meal.

>> I like my country and its culture and I think that it is the best thing to have rice as our main meal.
Because eating rice is really helpful for our health and it gives us energy to live our lives.

>> Eating rice is really helpful for our health and it gives us energy to live our lives.
Plus, actually, I love rice, 

>> Plus, actually, I love rice.

 so I think this is the best for me in terms of not only eating something that I like but also keeping my body well

>>  So I think this is the best for me in terms of not only eating something that I like but also keeping my body well.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104642 (HW) Weekends in some countries are Fridays and Saturdays, in... Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 375
104641 As a Korean citizen, what do you think should the government... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 2
104640 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 6
104639 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 260
104638 About freedom ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-14 332
104637 Homework (202) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 314
104636 Day6 Áö* ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 2
104635 I have three wishes. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 363
104634 Would you risk your life to save a friend? How about a stranger? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 452
104633 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 368
104632 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 397
104631 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 0
104630 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 307
104629 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 424
104628 The most beautiful country that I have ever been was America ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 559
104627 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 388
104626 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 0
104625 Free vaccine. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 3
104624 Describe your favorite TV personality and explain why you like... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 358
104623 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-13 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04