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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outw

작성자: 권*원
2021-01-26 305

회원님의 영작문

I think the disadvantages of using credit cards outweighs the advantages of it.
One of the reason is if we use credit cards, we don’t now how much we used.
In fact, nowadays most Koreans use credit cards when they pay for somethings
But since we used credit cards, credit delinquents have increased consistently.
Of course, It is easy and convenient to use credit cards than cash, but the result of convenience is to increase credit delinquents.
So, if we use credit cards for our convenience, I suggest using debit cards than credit cards
The other reason is problem of privacy.
Whenever we pay for somethings using credit cards, our private information is stored and used for marketing or promotion by various company.
For example, after we bought something, we have seen advertisements about it again on internet before.
It is proof that our privacy is violated by using credit cards.
In conclusion, I think the disadvantages of using credit cards outweigh advantages for these reasons.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning CLEO~! ^^ I'm grateful when you try writing your essays. I see that you are always trying your best in writing and speaking. Keep improving!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the disadvantages of using credit cards outweighs the advantages of it.
>>> CORRECT
One of the reason is if we use credit cards, we don’t now how much we used.
>>> One of the reason is if we use credit cards, we don’t know how much we could used.
In fact, nowadays most Koreans use credit cards when they pay for some things.
>>> CORRECT
But since we used credit cards, credit delinquents have increased consistently.
>>> CORRECT
Of course, It is easy and convenient to use credit cards than cash, but the result of convenience is to increase credit delinquents.
>>> Of course, it is easier and it's more convenient to use credit cards than cash, but the result of convenience is to increase credit delinquents.
So, if we use credit cards for our convenience, I suggest using debit cards than credit cards.
>>> So, if we use credit cards for our convenience, I suggest the use of debit cards than credit cards.
The other reason is problem of privacy.
>>> The other reason is privacy issues.
Whenever we pay for somethings using credit cards, our private information is stored and used for marketing or promotion by various company.
>>> Whenever we pay for some things using credit cards, our private information is stored and used for marketing or promotion by various company.
For example, after we bought something, we have seen advertisements about it again on internet before.
>>> CORRECT
It is proof that our privacy is violated by using credit cards.
>>> It is a proof that our privacy is violated in using credit cards.
In conclusion, I think the disadvantages of using credit cards outweigh the advantages for these reasons.
>>> CORRECT
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수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
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문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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