¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What makes me Happy😁

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*½Å
2021-01-26 624

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all want to be happy. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. What makes you happy? In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. We want to release our stress so much. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Hannah! ^_^
Thank you for doing your homework~
You were able to make good sentences.
Keep it up, dear!

- T. Rina


1. We all want to be happy. 
>> CORRECT!

2. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. 
>> So we try to find some methods to be happier and to laugh more. 

3. What makes you happy? 
>> CORRECT!

4. In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

5. First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

6. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. 
>> CORRECT!

7. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

8. We want to release our stress so much. 
>> We want to relieve stress so much.
OR: We want to reduce stress so much.

9. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

10. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
>> CORRECT!

12. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. 
>> CORRECT!

13. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. 
>> When we are with our family, we become comfortable and relieved.

14. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. 
>> When we are relieved, we become happy because when we are with the people who make us feel comfortable, our concerns disappear. 

15. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
>> So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know well and who make them feel comfortable.

16. In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

17. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104908 What did you not like about your school? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 0
104907 Homework (208) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 536
104906 Do you know many people who never drink alcohol? ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 2
104905 What traits do you look for in a conversation partner? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 6
104904 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 330
104903 The most saddest word! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 416
104902 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 3
104901 How do you usually search for interesting places to visit while... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 393
104900 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 314
104899 21.1.20 Homework ^O^ ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 0
104898 What is your dream home? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 293
104897 [1/20]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 389
104896 I\'m not good at dancing... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 356
104895 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 370
104894 Laughter ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 1
104893 Can you talk about four restaurants near your house where you... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 0
104892 well I always try to manage a everyday for not to wast time À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 334
104891 English Homework 18 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 277
104890 It is the most important for people to eat food. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 3
104889 How has the film industry changed throughout the years? Can you... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04