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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What makes me Happy😁

작성자: 조*신
2021-01-26 627

회원님의 영작문

We all want to be happy. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. What makes you happy? In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. We want to release our stress so much. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Hannah! ^_^
Thank you for doing your homework~
You were able to make good sentences.
Keep it up, dear!

- T. Rina


1. We all want to be happy. 
>> CORRECT!

2. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. 
>> So we try to find some methods to be happier and to laugh more. 

3. What makes you happy? 
>> CORRECT!

4. In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

5. First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

6. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. 
>> CORRECT!

7. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

8. We want to release our stress so much. 
>> We want to relieve stress so much.
OR: We want to reduce stress so much.

9. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

10. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
>> CORRECT!

12. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. 
>> CORRECT!

13. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. 
>> When we are with our family, we become comfortable and relieved.

14. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. 
>> When we are relieved, we become happy because when we are with the people who make us feel comfortable, our concerns disappear. 

15. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
>> So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know well and who make them feel comfortable.

16. In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

17. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
>> CORRECT!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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