¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative developm

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-01-27 367

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People tend to seek comfort life these days. There have been active movement to seek "YOLO life", so people are willing to spend all their money when they are young. I guess that this is because of economic growth. Most people don't have any problem to eat and they have money to buy what they want to. However, I am worried about this campaign because we should prepare for the future. Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people are more than young people. It will be burden for young people and someone who will be born in the future. I agree partially with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. On the contrary, there have been another movement in US that young people make money as much as they can before 30s. And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money that might use it until they die. I think this is great idea because they can do anythin

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

A lovely day to you MR. HWANG~! ^^ One of the most important things to do to become a better writer is simply to read. You¡¯d be hard-pressed to find a great writer who isn¡¯t also a voracious reader. Reading other writers¡¯ work can help you discover new writing methods and expose you to different source material that will improve your writing and inspire you.
Enjoy the experience! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People tend to seek comfort life these days.
>>> CORRECT
There have been active movement to seek "YOLO life", so people are willing to spend all their money when they are young.
>>> There have been active movements to seek "YOLO life", so people are willing to spend all their money while they are young.
I guess that this is because of economic growth. 
>>> CORRECT
Most people don't have any problem to eat and they have money to buy what they want to.
>>> Most people don't have any problems eating and they have enough money to buy what they want.
 However, I am worried about this campaign because we should prepare for the future. 
>>> CORRECT
Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people are more than young people. 
>>> Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people is higher than young people. 
It will be burden for young people and someone who will be born in the future.
>>> It will be a burden for young people and for those who will be born in the future.
 I agree partially with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. 
>>>  I partially agree with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. 
On the contrary, there have been another movement in the US that young people make money as much as they can before 30s.
>>> CORRECT
 And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money that might use it until they die. 
>>>  And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money which they may use until they die. 
I think this is great idea because they can do anything...
>>> I think this is a great idea because they can do anything...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105285 What can happen if a person has nd friends? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 295
105284 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 3
105283 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 302
105282 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 310
105281 What religion do you believe and practice? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 294
105280 In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 280
105279 HOMEWORK ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 312
105278 Are you worried someone could hack into your computer? What... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 284
105277 Cleaning my room Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 389
105276 My favorite season Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 276
105275 Are you worried someone could hack into your computer? What... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 331
105274 HOMEWORK FOR 02.02 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 3
105273 What do you think when you hear the sound of laughter? Do you... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105272 fairy tale in our country ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 2
105271 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 387
105270 What do you cook best? Please tell me the procedure on how to... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 0
105269 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1
105268 I had some experiences like that. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 277
105267 How are you going to overcome a \"Routinary\" life? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 2
105266 My village ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04