¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative developm

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-01-27 376

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People tend to seek comfort life these days. There have been active movement to seek "YOLO life", so people are willing to spend all their money when they are young. I guess that this is because of economic growth. Most people don't have any problem to eat and they have money to buy what they want to. However, I am worried about this campaign because we should prepare for the future. Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people are more than young people. It will be burden for young people and someone who will be born in the future. I agree partially with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. On the contrary, there have been another movement in US that young people make money as much as they can before 30s. And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money that might use it until they die. I think this is great idea because they can do anythin

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

A lovely day to you MR. HWANG~! ^^ One of the most important things to do to become a better writer is simply to read. You¡¯d be hard-pressed to find a great writer who isn¡¯t also a voracious reader. Reading other writers¡¯ work can help you discover new writing methods and expose you to different source material that will improve your writing and inspire you.
Enjoy the experience! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People tend to seek comfort life these days.
>>> CORRECT
There have been active movement to seek "YOLO life", so people are willing to spend all their money when they are young.
>>> There have been active movements to seek "YOLO life", so people are willing to spend all their money while they are young.
I guess that this is because of economic growth. 
>>> CORRECT
Most people don't have any problem to eat and they have money to buy what they want to.
>>> Most people don't have any problems eating and they have enough money to buy what they want.
 However, I am worried about this campaign because we should prepare for the future. 
>>> CORRECT
Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people are more than young people. 
>>> Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people is higher than young people. 
It will be burden for young people and someone who will be born in the future.
>>> It will be a burden for young people and for those who will be born in the future.
 I agree partially with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. 
>>>  I partially agree with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. 
On the contrary, there have been another movement in the US that young people make money as much as they can before 30s.
>>> CORRECT
 And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money that might use it until they die. 
>>>  And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money which they may use until they die. 
I think this is great idea because they can do anything...
>>> I think this is a great idea because they can do anything...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105033 1st homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 312
105032 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 333
105031 Parents should spend a lot of time playing games or sports with... Á¤*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 0
105030 We all will become old. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 328
105029 homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 0
105028 homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 0
105027 Why do people say laughter is the best medicine? Do you think so... ä*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 311
105026 I do exercise. ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 6
105025 People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 304
105024 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 1
105023 What is you favorite public transport and why? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 284
105022 Four Restaurants Near My House ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 9
105021 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
105020 Would you like to be a farmer or fisherman? (explain your answer) ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 293
105019 The factors I consider before I take advice Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 306
105018 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 2
105017 What do you like most about your own culture? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 287
105016 Success I had in this English class and things I should do to be... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 278
105015 What\'s your favorite junk food? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 0
105014 Homework (210) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 337

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04