¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative developm

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-01-28 278

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

These days, many people spend money and don¡¯t save it.
But even 10 years ago, most people think that saving a money is more important than spending it.
Why did we change so much?
The reason is that our values changed compared to past.
In past, we think that future¡¯s happiness is more important than present happiness.
We think that if we save money reducing consumption, we can live in plenty in the future.
But present values are different from the past.
We think present happiness is more important because we don¡¯t know how we become in the future.
Therefore, we spare no expense to enjoy present life.
I think this change of values is positive thing because we only live once and must enjoy every moment.
But it is allowed to an extent that I can pay for some things for myself.
Freedom is given to people who can be responsible for oneself.
Thank you for reading my essay.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

A lovely day to you Cleo~! ^^ One of the most important things to do to become a better writer is simply to read. You¡¯d be hard-pressed to find a great writer who isn¡¯t also a voracious reader. Reading other writers¡¯ work can help you discover new writing methods and expose you to different source material that will improve your writing and inspire you.
Enjoy the experience! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
These days, many people spend money and don¡¯t save it.
>>> CORRECT
But even 10 years ago, most people think that saving a money is more important than spending it.
>>> CORRECT
Why did we change so much?
>>> CORRECT
The reason is that our values changed compared to the past.
>>> CORRECT
In past, we think that future¡¯s happiness is more important than present happiness.
>>> In the past, we think that the future¡¯s happiness is more important than the present happiness.
We think that if we save money reducing consumption, we can live in plenty in the future.
>>> We think that if we save money, reducing our consumption, we can live plenty in the future.
But present values are different from the past.
>>> But the present values are different from the past.
We think present happiness is more important because we don¡¯t know how we become in the future.
>>> We think that the present happiness is more important because we don¡¯t know how we become in the future.
Therefore, we spare no expense to enjoy present the life.
>>> CORRECT
I think this change of values is positive thing because we only live once and must enjoy every moment.
>>> I think this change of values is a positive thing because we only live once and must enjoy every moment.
But it is allowed to an extent that I can pay for some things for myself.
>>> CORRECT
Freedom is given to people who can be responsible for oneself.
>>> CORRECT
Thank you for reading my essay.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105084 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 219
105083 Why do you think body language is important? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105082 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 358
105081 homework_21.01.26 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105080 Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons?... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 357
105079 What do you think about legalizing abortion? Why? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 393
105078 Musicals Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 294
105077 The age which children leave from their parents Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 402
105076 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 315
105075 If you had a boat, what areas of the world would you like to... ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105074 I lived in... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 7
105073 What is the best way to avoid misunderstanding within the family? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 313
105072 Subject-verb agreement ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 2
105071 Why do you think verbal communication is important in a society? ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 8
105070 Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 245
105069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105068 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 407
105067 People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 348
105066 I am looking for employeer ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 401
105065 What is the longest I have ever slept for? Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04