¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think you are aging gracefully?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-01-28 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to development of mesical technology, people can live longer than before.
Thus, aging population has became a serious problem in South Korea. Including me, people should think about that hiw can we get old gracedully?
In my opinion, aging gracefully is being open mind to young
people.
I stronly believe that if I am open mind person, I can become more generous, careful and beautiful.
Now I am trying to be awakened and believe that It makes me age gracefully in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Young Won!

I agree that aging gracefully is smiling, being kind, embracing age better than yesterday. Along with wisdom,  we are more at peace and try to be the light in dark situations.

We cannot deny the fact that your country is growing old literally with its people. We can only hope that this can find a good solution soon.

I would like to thank you for all your great efforts in crafting a composition always.

See you soon!

-T. Donna =)

According to development of mesical technology, people can live longer than before.
>> According to developments of medical technology, people can live longer than before.

Thus, aging population has became a serious problem in South Korea. Including me, people should think about that hiw can we get old gracedully?
In my opinion, aging gracefully is being open mind to young
people.
>> Thus, aging population has became a serious problem in South Korea. Including me, people should think about how we can get old gracefully.
In my opinion, aging gracefully is being open-mind to young
people.

I stronly believe that if I am open mind person, I can become more generous, careful and beautiful.
>> I strongly believe that if I am an open-mind person, I can become more generous, careful, and beautiful.

Now I am trying to be awakened and believe that It makes me age gracefully in the future.
>> Correct!
Or: ...that it makes...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105142 About laughter ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 241
105141 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 317
105140 How can you change your lifestyle to eat less junk food? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 3
105139 Beacause of the circumstances ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 283
105138 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 292
105137 Have you traveled to other places? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 235
105136 What are some ways in which gossip can be harmful? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 3
105135 English Homework 21 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 281
105134 How often do you drink coffee on the go? ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105133 Would you describe yourself as lucky? Why? Why not? À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 466
105132 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 3
105131 When i meet someone... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 7
105130 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 272
105129 Why do you think body language is important? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 0
105128 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 226
105127 What would you do if you had to travel to a country where it\'s... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 0
105126 Winter season ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 350
105125 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 240
105124 What makes you happy? È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 301
105123 Hi Ysabelle. º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04